Boundaries

Growing up as a shy girl, I was too afraid to stand up for myself because I lacked the courage, for one thing, & for another, I didn't want to hurt someones feelings. As I got older, I began to realize that while I'm worrying about not wanting to hurt someones feelings, I'm forgetting that the person I need to stand up to, is not worrying about hurting mine. So begins my epiphany.....

What Is Family, Anyway?

This is a subject that is close to my heart. I want to share how my views on what constitutes "family", has changed in recent years, because I am beginning to realize that the older I get, the more my perspectives on so many things I thought were set in stone, have actually changed.

Respect

This is a long post. Brace yourselves.......

Respect was important, as I was growing up. If any of my 5 siblings or I showed disrespect toward my parents, we either got "the look" from my father, the "I'm very disappointed in you" from my mother, a spanking on the bottom (depending upon the degree of disrespect), or we were made to brush our teeth with a bar of soap (reserved for times of extreme sassing, such as the time when I yelled at the top of my lungs that I hated my father's guts, just because he scolded me for being sloppy when I was drying the dishes). Before anyone cries "ABUSE!!", let me just say that I never felt abused as a child. I grew up in a very loving home, by two very wonderful parents. My parents loved me enough to discipline me when I needed it. Back then, parents weren't afraid to discipline their kids, because it was called good parenting. I felt secure & safe because I knew what my boundaries were, & I knew my parents cared enough about me to set them.

Abortion - A Woman's Right to Choose?

This is a sensitive topic, but hey, I have a tab on my blog page for social issues, & what's the point of having such a tab, if I don't place many posts within it, right? I want to talk about abortion, because it IS such a hot topic today. Please bear in mind when you read my words, that I refuse to bash anyone, be disrespectful toward those of differing viewpoints, or show judgment toward anyone who has ever had an abortion or considered having one. That said, I want to talk about abortion from my own personal perspective. It is my hope that whether or not one agrees with my views, that I may be accorded the same respect for sharing them, as I am attempting to show to others here. I am merely trying to give some food for thought on a topic that causes so much debate & strong emotion.

Why Do I Talk Too Much??

You know, I talk too much. I know, shocking isn't it? Hard to believe, I'm sure! It's true though. I've been trying to figure out why I do that, especially because it can be very off-putting to a lot of people. People see my name on their caller ID & they decide whether or not they have the time to take my call. My own son doesn't even read my Facebook messages to him if they're really long, & will only skim over the highlights. I can't blame him. Who wants to go on Facebook to have a little fun, post a few funnies or thought-provoking items, catch up with how people are doing, & then be stuck reading a single message for ten minutes? Not me! Heck, if I don't have the time or inclination to read something for several minutes, I won't even open the message. That's because Facebook tells the author of the message when the recipient has viewed it, & I don't want someone to think I read their message but didn't care enough to reply, when perhaps I just didn't have the time to reply right away.

Greater Is He!

I look above to the Lord Most High
And thank Him for each day
That I have been so blessed with life
And with the love He gave.

I thank Him for the fact that I 
Can see & I can hear;
And I can feel His presence
Whenever He is near.

Common Sense

This is a post on common sense. You know, that thing that people are equipped with but so often forget to use? Common sense is like one of those 10-in-one gadgets that does a hundred different things with one device. It comes in handy to have, & if one doesn't use it, they can still accomplish their goal, but they might make a mess in the process.

The first item on the menu is the appetizer. The little snack, to satiate those hunger pangs until the main course arrives.

Manners? What Manners?

Our society has lost its manners.  I don't post the following examples of bad manners in order to be negative, because who likes negativity, right? I'm only posting it because I figured that if enough people can relate to being frustrated at some of these examples, then maybe together, we can try to make a difference, so that we can bring some semblance of manners back to our society:

• Driver stops for pedestrian who is crossing illegally in front of him. Driver behind honks rudely at first driver, all because he was in a hurry. He could care less about the pedestrian.

• Customer unloads full shopping cart & angrily disputes the price of several items. Customer hands cashier multiple items that she no longer wants, leaving it for store employees to put back. Customer takes her time to pay for her purchase, being completely oblivious to the fact that she has inconvenienced cashier, as well as the line full of people she kept waiting behind her. 

Her Halo's Too Small

Her wings are too small for her shoulders.
She can't get her feet off the ground.
Her halo's too small for her head - 
It's not big enough to fit 'round!

What I've Learned From My Pets

From Pepsy

When I was eleven years old, my parents gave me a fluffy bundle of cute for my birthday. I named my new puppy Pepsy. What I've learned from that wonderful little dog in the 15 years I was blessed to be able to have her in my life is:

• Give a puppy a bed & some snuggling, & they'll give you a lifetime of hugs
• Teach a dog to say she's sorry, & you'll be the one feeling bad when she wraps her legs around your neck & presses her face to yours, as she's trying to say "please don't be mad at me; I didn't mean to go potty on the carpet"
• A dog can catch another animal for sport, & not kill it, but instead let it go. Humans can learn a lot from that.
• Don't catch a frog with your mouth, unless you want a foamy mouth.
• Going to the vet, like going to the doctor, is unpleasant, yet necessary.
• Who cares what others think about how you look, when YOU know you're fabulous!
• It doesn't matter if you're little - you can still make your voice heard.
• When you want something badly enough, jump high until you get it!

Ahh the Romance....Oops, Where Did it Go?

This post is a no-brainer, but something that people struggle with all the time. While I have a Bachelor of Arts degree, it is in Business Administration, not in any area related to psychology, counseling, sociology, or any other field that would qualify me to dispense advice & give counsel to people. Lacking such credentials, I am often surprised when people come to me for relationship advice. I'm speaking of couples who are having repetitive issues that they can't seem to work out on their own - not those with a need to vent, who are seeking the advice of a friend.

A Blessing For Dad

We're sorry to hear the sad news
Of your 70th birthday today.
Our deepest condolences are with you,
And we'll pray for you each new day.

We'll pray that your eyesight won't fail you,
And that arthritis won't set in your bones -
That you won't be afflicted with maladies,
Like ulcers, arthritis and stones!

May your days ahead not get shorter.
May the hair not fall out of your head.
May you live to see your next birthday
Before you fall over dead.

If what we've said is depressing,
Take comfort from the words of your peers:
According to Noah and Methuselah,
"You are young for all of your years!"



© Cari Kissel 1994 *This poem was written for my father's birthday in 1994

Pardon Me, Your Self-Esteem is Showing

Today boys & girls, we are going to talk about body image & self-esteem. Yes, it may seem like a silly topic for a blog post, but in flipping through the channels on our TV, & glancing at magazine covers as I'm waiting in line to check out at the grocery store, it has become so evident that this is a topic which does not receive enough attention. One only has to look at the tabloid magazine covers to see how much our society is drawn to images of celebrities being made fun of for having visible cellulite while wearing a bikini, or other magazine covers to learn the secret of losing weight & keeping it off.

Introductions Please

I really don't think I'm all that different from anyone else. I have however, had some experiences that you just don't hear about every day. When I decided to write a blog, it was because people have told me that they've been encouraged or inspired by things I've shared, & I thought that just as I am encouraged by the experiences of others, maybe something I share can touch someone as well.

Stop Taking Offense Already!!!

We live in a litigious society, where people are bringing about lawsuits, from the most trivial of perceived offenses to the most extreme. Once upon a time, a lawsuit was a last resort measure taken when all other attempts to resolve disputes have failed. Today, one simply has to be offended at something that someone said, & then out come the "victims", sure they have been grievously wronged, & the only way that there can be any measure of recompense, is if the "wronged" party is rewarded for their victim status in either a court of law, or a court of public opinion.

On Being Shy

About age 9-10 Elementary School
Yarn - wasn't just for knitting!

I grew up painfully shy - so shy in fact, that I embarrassed my parents each time they introduced me to someone & I would turn my back to that person. When I was in Girl Scouts as a child, I had no friends to hang out with, because I was just too embarrassed to talk to anyone. I remember how at Girl Scout Camp, a scout leader asked me my name. I told her my name was Carol, which was my actual name (instead of Cari, that I go by now), but I said it so softly, that she thought I said Karen. I was Karen for the duration of my time at camp, & I lacked the courage to speak up & tell people otherwise. It's a terrible thing to be shy. You feel trapped in a prison of your own making, yet despite the fact that you have the power to unlock the door, you don't know how to do so.

My Pepsy

Me, Pepsy (in front), & my sister's sweet dog Frosty. 
I've obscured my friend's image behind me, out of 
respect for her privacy.  

I'll never forget my birthday in 1972. I was eleven years old. My parents had surprised me with a tiny, brownish-black, squirming bundle of cute. I remember the delight I had when that little puppy entered my world. I loved drinking soda back then...still do. Although I am a Coke drinker now, the cola brand that graced our refrigerator shelves when I was growing up, was Pepsi. Not being quite sure what to name my new puppy, somehow, the color of her fluffy fur reminded me of the color of the Pepsi in our fridge. Of course I didn't want to spell my puppy's name the same way that the cola was spelled, so her name became Pepsy instead.  

Perfect Breeze

The perfect breeze, neither warm nor cold
On an early autumn day
Carries with it, thoughts of old
And memories of yesterday.

It primes the heart to think of
Those we love, we miss, we mourn,
And in its gentle softness,
It will hug, remind or warn.

On Being the Mother of a Soldier: Part 3

My father in his Marine uniform
during WWII, with my grandmother

Mothers have been doing this since almost the beginning of time. They have been saying goodbye to their children, as they head off to war, not knowing if they'd ever return. I am no different. The methods of warfare may have changed through the centuries, but the emotions a mother (or a father) feels remain the same.  Let me just start this post by emphatically stating that there is no way that I could possibly have any clue what it is like to be a soldier or a member of any military branch for that matter.