A few months ago, I noticed a peculiar-looking spider just hanging there in a large web under the eaves of our roof. Considering that we live in an area where venomous spiders are common, I not only studied the spider, but I Googled spider photos to see if I could find out what type of spider it was. My research came up empty & I still don't have my answer. I was however, able to rule out any of the most common venomous spiders that are indigenous to the area. Whew!
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| Photo: Cari Kissel |
Each day, the spider retreated to a hiding place under our roof & it would come out at night to either add more webbing, or to just hang there in the middle of it. Considering that I spent several minutes every night watching the little critter, I figured it should have a name. I named it Fred. Long story about the name...I'll spare you. It occurred to me that the spider was most likely a female, so Fred became Freda.
Being accustomed to seeing Freda every night, I was becoming attached. It's not that I considered Freda to be a pet or anything. We already have a dog & cat & unless it's a pet tarantula, most people would not have a pet spider. Freda was simply Freda. I figured she had as much of a right to exist as I did & besides, she was keeping other bugs from coming into our home. That was the angle I was working as I admonished my daughter to not harm Freda in any way.
One stormy night, Freda was frantically trying to climb up her web & to the safety of the underneath side of our roof. The wind was whipping fiercely & the rain was a torrential downpour. Freda was hanging on for dear life. My heart went out to her. I grabbed the handle end of a broom & gently hoisted Freda to the roof underhang, where she remained for a few days. I was sure I had killed her in my attempt to save her because she remained curled up underneath the roof & made no attempt to return to her web in the coming days. I was heartsick because although she was "just a spider" (tell that to the spider!), she was a living being with an instinct to survive....& she was my friend.
Just when I was sure that Freda had not survived the storm, I saw her once again, hanging in the middle of her newly constructed web, near the roof underhang where I had placed her. I was elated!! Every night, I had become accustomed once again to greeting her with "hello my friend". Freda made regular nightly appearances in her web for a few more weeks. Then without warning, both she & her web disappeared. I've not seen either since.
I know it's a silly thing to become attached to a spider, but Freda reminded me of things that I can apply to my own life:
* She was resilient & she hung on tight through the storm. She didn't give up.
*Each time her web became torn or messy, she simply repaired it.
*She didn't bother with what other bugs were doing. She just lived her own life -- simply.
There's wisdom in the way Freda lived, although she wasn't wise. She was just living her life. Humans can learn a lot from how other living beings go about their lives. But that would involve stopping what we're doing, paying attention & then appreciating the simple things in life. That's not such an easy thing to do these days, but I have found that when I live life that way, it's a lot more joyful. Maybe Freda will return. Many spiders can live 6 years or more after all. Somehow I doubt it though. I think Freda's time has come & gone. I'm just thankful that she chose to hang out on my porch & I'm grateful for the lessons she taught me.
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