Reflections

I've been a bit reflective these days... Lots of changes have happened in my life & in the lives of those I love. It's neither good nor bad. It's just life. We humans are apt to complain a lot. And I mean A LOT!! We get sick & we whine & moan. Sickness is no fun of course, especially if one is seriously ill, but overall, our human tendency is to make sure others know we feel yucky. Someone is rude to us & we pout or get angry. We have a bad day & we need time to decompress & unwind. It's just how humans are. 

Animals on the other hand...can be sick & they hide it well - it's what they have to do to survive in the wild. If someone yells at their dog, the dog has hurt feelings yet still forgives & still loves that person. When a dog has had a bad day, it still hopes & still tries to make the most of  its circumstances. 

Just this morning, my husband threw a toy onto the hardwood floor for our dog Penny to play with. She jumped down off our bed (a big jump for such a little dog) & went sliding onto the floor, legs splayed out & head down, with her chin landing with a thump. She quickly grabbed her toy & jumped back up onto the bed as if it was no big deal. My husband instantly felt bad for her & vowed not to throw the toy from the bed anymore. Penny, realizing my husband wasn't going to throw the toy after all, began licking her little toothpick legs. It was clear that although she acted as if it was no big deal, her legs did take a pounding & were sore. But that's a dog for you -- they just go with the flow. They accept what is & move on. So do other animals.

Photo: Cari Kissel

Photo: Cari Kissel

Our cat Ella, after using her litter box, tears through the home as if she's high on catnip, bumping into furniture as she runs. We hear the thump, but she carries on, seemingly concluding that the bumping into things already took place & there's no use dwelling on any pain associated with it. Nevermind the fact that Ella is 13 years old & isn't as active as she used to be. She doesn't let her aging body stop her from having fun when she can. Animals are cool like that. We humans could learn a lot from their example. 

As I reflect on how animals go through life, I realize that out of all the species of life on this planet, human beings are the ones who possess the greatest control over their circumstances, yet complain the most about the hand they are dealt. I'm sure we all know someone who finds every excuse to be negative. The sun never shines for such people & if it did, they wouldn't notice it because they walk around with a dark cloud over their heads. I'm not speaking of those with mental illness who may have difficulty being positive. I'm talking about those who just have a negative disposition overall. Life isn't always going to be sunny & warm. Outside, the birds still happily chirp & sing, flying with gleeful abandon, even when the nights are cold & the winter rains we get here, shake & toss about their homes far more than the earthquakes we occasionally experience ever do. I'll take an earthquake any day, over being tossed about in a tree branch, & possibly having my home thrown to the ground & destroyed by the wind. 

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In this world, there is much stress & anxiety because people, intelligent & good as we are, also possess an innate ability to be mean, sometimes cruel & even evil. We can't change the world. We can, however, change our little portion of the world for the better. We can approach life with a positive outlook & attitude & we can BE positive, BE good, BE loving & kind & we can stop fretting over the things that don't matter & focus on the things that do. We can stop dwelling on the past & live for the present.

And when we need to learn how to do just that, we can look to the animals around us & let their examples be our guide.

The End

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Be A Little Crazy

Being normal is overrated. What IS normal, anyway? Is it a standard definition of acceptable traits that are within certain parameters? Does venturing outside of those parameters violate normalcy? Who created those parameters in the first place? Who gets to decide if someone is

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abnormal or not? Is being normal like being in a club, where one has to be accepted before being included? Well I say......

Phooey on normalcy! I think it's perfectly fine to be crazy sometimes. Some of the coolest people in history were a little crazy. There's 3 kinds of crazy, 2 of which are acceptable in my opinion, the 3rd of which is not. People have often treated those who have a mental illness or a disability as if they have the plague. It isn't contagious, folks. That kind of crazy can't be helped. We are all still human beings & we all have SOME sort of "stuff" that makes us a bit crazy. As long as we are either keeping our "crazy" under control with therapy, medication or whatever floats our boat, & we aren't hurting anyone, including ourselves, then that's okay. Live & let live!

How about those who are covered in tattoos or dress in ways that garner them lots of attention? If such people are indeed normal, why is it that we still judge them & find them lacking somehow? And before anyone says "but I don't ever do that because I judge someone

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on how they behave, not on how they look", I cry fowl on that one. Don't think you've never judged someone. We ALL have done so at least once. How many of us have judged an old person to be stupid & deaf, as we speak loudly to them in a deliberate & slow manner because we assume they have lost all understanding & hearing & we have to speak to them like a child? We have all judged someone. What about those who are "eccentric" & "odd" & act just outside "societal/acceptable norms"? Hey, as long as nobody is hurting anyone, who cares?! Live & let live!

Then there are those who do all the "normal" things such as going to work, paying their bills & doing what "normal" people do, except their personalities are so off-putting that they come across to others as the opposite of normal. They can be rude, obnoxious, self-entitled, self-absorbed (narcissistic) & act as if the world not only revolves around them, but that the world owes them whatever they want or what they feel they deserve. They don't care if they hurt others, so long as the end result serves their purpose or fulfills their wishes. This kind of "crazy" is unacceptable because it harms others.

There. Those are the 3 kinds of "crazy" as described by moi! So live a little. Don't take life so seriously. We're not going to get out of it alive anyway, so we might as well make it count. Be kind, don't hurt others, be smart in your choices, and HAVE FUN!! And most importantly, be weird, be silly, don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself for the sake of fun now & then. Make that silly sound with your tongue or dance like John Travolta in the grocery store. Rock out to music in the car & laugh when others stare at you as you drive down the road. Just BE A LITTLE CRAZY!! Live & let live...& have fun doing so!!

Photo: Cari Kissel

 **Have an opinion about this post? I would truly appreciate your feedback in the comment section below, or in the confidential feedback form on this page. Please keep all comments respectful & tasteful**  

Times Have Changed

How I miss my parents. If they were alive today, they would both be in their 90's. They brought about a certain comfort that always made me feel "safe", even as an adult with children of my own. They represented security, balance, family, ethics, goodness, stability & love, all rolled into one package that they created together when they married while still in their teens in the 1940's. My father was drafted during World War II & he & my mom moved from Indiana to California when the Marines sent my dad to San Diego & he was assigned to the USS Panamint & later saw battle in the Pacific Theater. Together, they raised their family: 2 sons & 4 daughters. I was the youngest.

The Good and Not So Good Human Traits

I don't make resolutions when a new year arrives. I instead, set goals for my life & I set such goals throughout the year. In my experiences during the past couple of years, I have encountered people with personality & character traits so ugly that they have brought out the worst of mankind. I have also observed & been exposed to traits so awesome that they help people to forget that ugliness in this world even exists when we can see the goodness in others. I want to strive to exhibit the positive traits below, to the best of my ability. They are shown first on this list. This post isn't pretty or poetic, nor is the layout fancy. Heck, I'm not even going to make the format perfectly consistent & uniform. I don't feel like it. But I do believe the point I'm trying to make can still be made here:

We Have a Choice

Everything we do is a choice. Unless someone is blackmailing us, using extortion against us, or coercing us by force, we alone are responsible for the choices we make. 

Someone will say "but you don't know what he did to me...he left me no choice!".  Nope, wrong answer. We always have a choice.

"But she knows that I get upset when she does such & such. I had no choice but to show her that she can't get away with that". Again, we always have a choice.

"This person hurt my family member!" --- once again, we have a choice in how we respond.

"Yeah, but that person cut me off in traffic & nearly caused an accident" -- I can relate to this one...& yes, I have the choice in how I will respond.

Forgive & Forget

A lot has happened to me on the way to my life. Put simply, my life has had its shares of ups & downs & hasn't always gone the way I had hoped, dreamed or planned. There have been good & bad changes in my life, most of which have helped bring about reflection & soul searching & eventually peace & healing if it is needed. 

Relax Already!!!

Do you ever feel guilty when you sit down & relax in front of the television set? Do you feel like you've wasted your day if on your days off from work, you did not keep yourself occupied with chores & projects around the home? You do?? Well knock it off!! 

Missing Freda

When I think of spiders, the book Charlotte's Web comes to mind. In that book, Charlotte is a spider that lives in a barn & she instructs a pig named Wilbur on life's important lessons. I am not a spider lover, but I do find them interesting. I'm pretty sure that my daughter on the other hand, would prefer that they lived on the moon. I have been summoned many times, to perform spider deportations.

Birds of the Air

As I was walking my dog the other day, I noticed how she delighted in taking in every smell in the air around her & every scent on the ground. As she rolled in the grass, I smiled at the sheer joy my Penny dog was experiencing at that very moment.

Being Nice or Being a Schmuck

I'm a people watcher. I can't help it. I find human behavior fascinating. I also care about people & feel a lot of compassion toward others. When I see someone hurting, I want to help. Often, strangers approach me & start a conversation because they see a friendly face & assume they can trust me. People consider me to be kind & someone they can count on to help out. This is a good thing, right? I'm not so sure. Here's why:

Savor the Moment

Today was an uneventful day. Although as a Christian, church is an important part of my life (albeit not as regular a part for me lately), I did not go to church today. My husband had to work & my daughter was with some friends. Aside from our cat & dog, I had the home to myself. I have a huge TO DO list a mile long, yet I just wasn't "feeling it" today. Plus, I had a whopper of a migraine. Seems I get a lot of those lately, partly due to the frequent air pressure changes that come from living in an arid Pacific coast climate & partly due to the fact that I have huge sleep issues at night. After awhile, lack of sleep takes its toll.

Getting Older

What is it about getting older that has people cringing? Why are we afraid of wrinkles, gray hair, & that pudge around the mid-section that just takes up residence & refuses to leave? Why is "looking older" such a bad thing? Is it because we no longer look like the vibrant, energetic individual that we once were in our youth? Why are we afraid to look less vibrant, less young? Does it make us feel vulnerable? Less attractive? Less capable? Or does it scare us because it represents an approach to a time when we may be less able to take care of ourselves or to even protect ourselves from harm? Does it make us fear that our spouse will leave us & trade us in for a newer model?

Woe Is Me!!

Stop the world....I want to get off!!

I can't take it anymore.

Everything I do takes effort.

Life itself is such a chore!

Always tired despite the hours

I have spent in slumber sweet.

I awake in full exhaustion,

Dreading the coming day to meet.

I can't stop my head from pounding,

Despite all efforts that I make.

I'm tired of meds & so-called healing.

Much more of this I cannot take.

I have many plans before me....

Places to go & things to do.

I want life to be worth living....

Life for me is far from through.

I'm just worn out from the journey

That I have to make each day...

Just to function for the moment.

All that's left to do is pray.

I have faith in my sweet Father.

I believe that He loves me.

I pray that with His help & guidance,

I'll be the best that I can be!

© Cari Kissel 1994

 **Have an opinion about this post? I would truly appreciate your feedback in the comment section below, or in the confidential feedback form on this page.**

Things My Dog Has Taught Me

My dog Maggie died on March 11, 2015, following a very determined fight against cancer. Her death was sudden & unexpected because although she was slowing down, she had more good days than bad. She died unexpectedly on one of her good days. This post is in tribute to a wonderful dog. She & I had a special bond. I will love her forever. I will miss her till I die. These are the things Maggie has taught me:

Being Available or Being Meddlesome: The Difference

I'm going to mix it up a bit & shoot straight from the hip. I'm being very transparent here on a post that can be viewed from anywhere in the world, since this is a public blog. Sometimes however, a person's gotta do what a person's gotta do. The following subject matter has bothered me for some time & I suspect that others can relate.

I like to help others. I feel compassion & empathy for those who are hurting or who just need simple kindness shown to them. I'm naturally helpful, so much so, that it can be annoying to some & exhausting to me! The problem with trying to be of service/assistance toward others is that rather than it giving me joy, it often bites me in the butt.