Why Do I Talk Too Much??

You know, I talk too much. I know, shocking isn't it? Hard to believe, I'm sure! It's true though. I've been trying to figure out why I do that, especially because it can be very off-putting to a lot of people. People see my name on their caller ID & they decide whether or not they have the time to take my call. My own son doesn't even read my Facebook messages to him if they're really long, & will only skim over the highlights. I can't blame him. Who wants to go on Facebook to have a little fun, post a few funnies or thought-provoking items, catch up with how people are doing, & then be stuck reading a single message for ten minutes? Not me! Heck, if I don't have the time or inclination to read something for several minutes, I won't even open the message. That's because Facebook tells the author of the message when the recipient has viewed it, & I don't want someone to think I read their message but didn't care enough to reply, when perhaps I just didn't have the time to reply right away.

But my point is that I take too long to get to the point, & I flat out just talk too much. I know this about myself. That's why the title of this blog is what it is. It gets a chuckle out of those who know me, & it's a title that's not easy to forget. There was a method to my madness!

Even my family & extended family teases me about how I will go on & on, despite the fact that I have been trapped on more than a couple occasions, by various family members as I've had to listen to long-winded tales of their own. It's okay though. I really don't mind. That's because I already know I talk too much, & if I were to get upset at being teased for it, then I'd have to be mad at myself. If others in my family can listen to me go on & on, I can certainly listen to them do the same thing.

I've been told that I love to talk. Truth is, I actually don't. Remember, if you  saw my blog post about what it was like for me to grow up being shy ( http://helpshewontstoptalking.blogspot.com/2013/08/on-being-shy.html ), you'd know that while I'm no longer shy & don't mind talking anymore, it's not something I am naturally prone to do. People have also told me that I love talking on the phone, because I could be on the phone with a family member for an hour or more. Again, I don't like talking on the phone. After having worked in a customer service call center several years ago, where I spent eight hours a day on the telephone, I actually hate being on the phone. BUT....if I'm speaking with someone I really care about, such as friends or family, then sure, I'll talk on the phone, & sure, I'll talk with them as long as they want to, unless I need to go. 

So why do I give endless details, repeat myself multiple times sometimes, & take forever to get to the point? Why am I not concise like I wish I could be? Hmmm....I don't know. As near as I can guess, part of it stems from growing up in a family of talkers. I'm not sure why my extended family gives me such a hard time for talking so much when they do it too. In my family, if people didn't interrupt one another, they wouldn't have their chance to speak. Being the youngest in the family AND being shy, meant that once I had the floor, I had to continue speaking, because it might be awhile before I'd have my chance again. Growing up, I was often misunderstood, & that continued even well into my adult years. I think that stems from not feeling like anyone was listening to me - I mean, really listening, & trying to get to know me. 

Being shy for so many years, & then being in a prior marriage where I felt that my feelings didn't matter & my voice was not heard (which is a part of why I'm no longer married to that person), I think that now that I have the confidence to speak my mind, I want everyone to know what I think. I wonder sometimes, how many people who finally find their voice, feel as I do. Also, because I have been misunderstood so many times by people who don't even know me, yet who are a part of my life in one way or another, I have this intense need to repeat myself in different ways, to get my point across & be understood. Honestly though, this is exhausting, not only for the one subjected to my endless ramblings, but also to me!

Finally, I have a physical difficulty giving a synopsis & getting to the point. My son described it well one time, when he told me that I speak backwards. For example, rather than saying that the dog took a drink of water, I will say that the dog needed to go outside to go potty, & she took her sweet time, marking every inch of grass & every bush in sight. Then the dog saw another dog on her walk, & the two dogs sniffed butts in greeting, got a little territorial for a minute, then went about their way, with each one trying to mark the same spot that the first dog had previously marked. Then by the time that dog got home, & after having walked for 20 minutes in the blazing heat, the dog was incredibly thirsty, & so the dog took a drink of water. See my dilemma? Now the reason I was able to state my dilemma by FIRST stating that the dog took a drink of water, was because I had time to think about it before saying it. It's when I have to say something then & there, that I have a problem. My brain wants to put all the details that led UP to the dog taking a drink of water FIRST, instead of at the end, where they belong, or even not say those details to begin with. I have started a Twitter account. I figure it's good practice for me, since tweets can be no more than 111 characters long, that would be excellent practice for me!! Oh my goodness, it's a challenge for me, let me tell you! 

So now that I have this out of my system, I feel a bit better. I do wonder however, how many people will read this post, & will understand me a bit better. Bummer for those who didn't read this, because for those folks, I will sadly be forced to write in greater detail, in order to ensure that I have been understood, buwahaha!!