She Talks Too Much!!!

To the men out there, did the title of this post grab your attention? Can you identify with the sentiment? When it comes to men & women, it's a well-known fact that women tend to talk more than men do. Of course there are exceptions, but on average, women speak about 20,000 words per day, compared to men, who speak an average of about 7,000 words per day. I think my family members would say I top the charts at over 100,000 words per day. That's just a guess, but I'm likely not far off the mark! I try & I try to use less words, but it's just so difficult.

But just as research has shown that chocolate can actually be good for you, (mostly dark chocolate, but hey, it's CHOCOLATE!!), research has also shown that females are actually genetically predisposed to talking more than males. A research study by the University of Maryland's School of Medicine was able to show that the female brain contains higher amounts than a male brain of the protein FOXP2, which has been linked to speech & language. Apparently this protein has a direct correlation on communication. So guess what ladies: now we can enjoy our chocolate, guilt-free, & can prattle on & on about the benefits of chocolate to the men in our lives, & can justify doing so because hey, we're genetically predisposed to being verbose. We're just made that way!

Okay so there's exceptions to this whole using more words thing. I come from a family of talkers, & I have a couple sisters who just cut to the chase & they use much fewer words to say the same thing that might take me twice as many words to say. There's speaking/using words, & there's communication style. I stand by the notion that females are predisposed to using more words than males, because there have been numerous studies to prove that fact. There are however, varying degrees of that concept, as evidenced in the different communication styles of people.

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Some people are very blunt & they will say the first thing that comes to their mind, without the benefit of a filter to prevent offensive, harsh or hurtful words from spilling out. Others are so acutely sensitive & their filter is so strong, that they will go to great lengths to word things in such a way as to avoid offending anyone. Then of course there are other communication styles that fall in the middle of the two extremes.

For me, my verbosity stems from a couple factors. For one, when I am very tired, stressed or not feeling well, it's hard for me to get my words together in an organized fashion. I tend to repeat myself just to make sure the person I'm speaking to understands what I'm trying to say. 

That brings me to another reason why I'm verbose. I hate to be misunderstood. I hate it with a passion. That fact stems from having been judged too harshly by various people throughout my life, who don't have the facts, yet claim to be the expert on me, my life, & my intentions, while not having a clue what they are talking about. So I will use more words to make sure I am understood. 

A third factor which ties into the second one, is that I do not like to be disrespected. I don't like to be spoken to in a rude or condescending manner. Who would? When I'm spoken to in that manner, I'll use plenty of words to make the point to the person that contrary to their belief, they are not superior to me. Sometimes I will use a lot of words to make sure my point is crystal clear. 

Poor men. Poor, poor men. I pity men because when a man is in a relationship with a woman, he often has to sit through long monologues about a woman's day, what so-and-so said or did that annoyed her, or he has to endure every minute detail of some event or situation that transpired. Not all women do this to their guy of course, but this is a common complaint of men. Then when the poor guy's eye wanders to the TV or he dares to divert his attention elsewhere, may God help the poor soul. Let's not forget the fact that he had better be prepared to have an appropriate response to what he heard that consists of more than a grunt of "uh-huh" or "I see", because if there is even the slightest hint that he wasn't really listening, he will be expected to recount everything the woman in his life just said to him. If he fails that test, you guessed it: he will either hear the story again, or he will be sleeping on the couch.

But there is hope for the men out there. You see, just as women are genetically predisposed to be more verbose than men are, that very fact gives men the loophole they need when faced with sticky conversational situations they are trying to either survive or get out of. When confronted with the accusation of not having listened to what she said, or not having made the appropriate response, a man need only say "oh but I WAS listening....I just have lower levels of the brain protein FOXP2 than you do, which makes me as a man, predisposed to being less verbal than a woman...it's not that I don't want to say more...it's that I am not biologically wired to". See if that works. This freebie advice is on me, men. You're welcome!

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