Man Up Already!!!

This is a rant, really. I have a huge pet peeve. I cannot stand it when people don't take responsibility for their own behaviors, & they either deny all ownership, or they deflect blame to someone else. Far too many people do this. It is difficult to work for a boss who makes the work day unbearable for employees & then blames the employees for their lack of productivity because of the morale that was killed by that boss's behavior & treatment of others. My biggest issue comes from those who know in their heart that they are in the wrong, but they refuse to admit it. Such people would rather see a relationship fail, others hurt or upset, & situations blown out of proportion & made worse, than to admit they were in the wrong & take responsibility for trying to make things right.

Kindness

People often think it takes a lot of effort to be kind, especially when the person one is trying to be kind to has just severed that person's last nerve.

Being kind is a choice. We can choose to be polite, kind, compassionate, patient, considerate etc., or we can choose to be difficult, obstinate, rude, inconsiderate, mean, vindictive & the list goes on.

If I Were in Charge of the Country

If I were in charge of the country, I would not be in charge of the country. Why? Because I would remember that our Founding Fathers desired that there be a system of checks & balances in our government, wherein no one branch has more power than another. I would remember that those in charge of the country are not those in Washington D.C., but rather the very people of this great nation. 

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I would remember that I am a servant of the people, not a dignitary with with so much clout that laws can be disregarded or manipulated, power can be abused, & rights can be stripped away. I would remember that I do not have real power, but am only a figure-head who takes both the blame & the glory for all things good or bad that happen in this nation.

I would, in my service to this country, remember that we are all immigrants. Yes, I, a direct descendant of William Bradford, a Mayflower Pilgrim & the 2nd governor of Plymouth Plantation in the 1600's, am descended from immigrants. Even I, a person whose ancestors on my father's side, were Cherokee Indians who have been here for probably a few thousand years, am still one descended from immigrants, because all of us either came here from somewhere else, or our ancestors did. 

I would remember this when making decisions concerning immigration & the rights of those desiring to live here. I would try to enact policies that are both fair to those citizens & taxpayers who already live in the U.S., as well as to those who hope to make America their home.

If I were "in charge" of this country, I would not surround myself with those who will scratch my back if I scratch theirs. I would surround myself with advisers who represent every faction of society, & would listen to their input before making decisions that affect those whom they represent.

I would not use taxpayer dollars to fund wasteful spending. I would seek the counsel of financial advisers & economists. I would not give money to bail out banking & auto industries who fail in their duties, but would instead, if it ever became necessary, give every single American & legal resident of the United States, the same money that has been given to the banking & auto industries during the last bailout, divided as a per capita amount, & use it to allow Americans to stimulate a hurting economy, as they pay off bills, keep up with their mortgage & car payments, & stimulate the economy with their spending. That would be a far better use of any bailout money. 

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I would not bail out anyone in the first place however, because I would make sure that the people's trust in their government is not misplaced, & I would do all I can to ensure responsible government spending that makes a government bailout unnecessary in the first place.

I would get rid of tax loopholes for the rich & push for a flat tax rate for every American. This way, no one economic class of people bears the biggest share of the tax burden, & what is taxed, is a fair share for every American. I would not tax a higher rate than the Lord God Almighty asks us to give in our tithes & offerings to the Lord. If God asks for only 10%, why does our government think they deserve 15, 20, 30% or more? This is wrong. 

Our government has shown that it is not responsible with the money we have entrusted it with. What God can do with 10% is far more than what we can do with 100%. Let our government make responsible financial decisions with 10% taxpayer income. I can guarantee there will be a lot stricter oversight & less wasteful spending & "mutual back scratching" with taxpayer dollars if there is a 10% tax limit.

If I were "in charge" of the country, I would make sure that we have a strong military to defend our nation. I would not send our troops to fight other nations' battles, unless doing so ensures peace & security for our own nation. If it becomes necessary to send our troops into battle, I would make sure that they are equipped to the fullest, to be able to perform the duties of their job & not be sent on a mission that they have to be creative with their resources in order to fulfill. 

I would push for legislation to reward all those who serve in our nation's military, with full health care for life, college education so that veterans can transition into civilian employment upon leaving the military, & a fair & equitable retirement & disability program for our military. I would put into place government programs that assist veterans with transitioning into civilian life, both immediately after their service, & any time during the course of their lives if they run into life difficulties or issues that could render them homeless. NO veteran should ever be homeless. The mere thought is reprehensible!

 I would do all I can to ensure that those in the military who have been diagnosed with any disability as a result of their service in the military, do not have to wait for their disability health care benefits & pay to kick in, but will receive it within 30 days at the most, from the date it is applied for. It is deplorable that veterans are dying while awaiting treatment, & some veterans' lives & relationships are being severely negatively impacted because they are having to wait far too long for benefits they so rightly deserve, as thanks from a grateful nation for their service & sacrifice. For any member of the military who dies while serving, I would ensure that they have full military honors & death benefits, whether or not they died in battle, by accident here at home, or by suicide. Every member of our military deserves appreciation for their service, to include death benefits for their surviving family members.

Photo: Cari Kissel, Ft Rosecrans National Cemetery

If I were "in charge" of the country, before declaring war with any nation & sending troops to far off lands, I would send representatives of our government, starting with myself, to that nation & live under the same conditions that our troops are expected to live under, for one week. Wars won't last as long & resources would be more readily available when those making the decisions to send troops to war know first hand what those troops would be experiencing. It's similar to when medical school students are made to "be the patient", in order to understand things from the patient's perspective.

My son in Afghanistan

If I were "in charge", I would be a strong leader who would not bow down to this world's bullies, negotiate with terrorists, make deals or exchanges with terrorists, nor apologize for taking action that is right in the sight of God & any reasonable citizen of this world. I would render aid to the defenseless & then bow out once we are no longer needed. I would not push American values on other nations, but respect each nation's right to self-government. 

I would not spend time on TV talk shows, but rather hold monthly town hall meetings, whether in person or via satellite in individual cities & towns, where I can hear the views & concerns of our citizens. I would hire extra staff to process emails, letters & calls & to forward all concerns having to do with someone's health, well-being or livelihood, to the office of the President for consideration. What good is a servant of the people if that person is not in touch with the people being served? Yes, that would make the President a very busy person indeed. My hair would turn gray & I would age quickly, just like every President before me.

If I were "in charge" of the country, I would remember that I am limited to two terms in office, & that I am not entitled to special taxpayer paid privileges beyond personal security, retirement benefits, & health care, once I leave office. It would be my own responsibility to foot the cost of my own vacations & housing costs, as well as education costs for my children, both during my time in office & after. 

Finally, if I were "in charge", I would push for term limits for members of Congress. There should be no "career politicians" in Washington, who have remained in office so long, that they have forgotten that the people hold the power, not the government & those running it. 

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I would respect the rights of our citizens & not twist our Constitution to deny any American their rights. The Separation of Church & State is one such example. It was intended to prevent the government from imposing religion upon its citizens. It was not intended to deny religious practices from public facilities or prayer in government meetings or public places. It was intended to protect religious freedom, not to limit it, as is happening today.

That all said, none of my views are intended to bash our government's current administration, or any administration prior to this one. It is simply my own views of how I would "run things", if I were "in charge" of the country.

 **Have an opinion about this post? I would truly appreciate your feedback in the comment section below, or in the confidential feedback form on this page.**

Trust...Betraying, Earning, Keeping

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When you place your trust in someone or something, you are putting your faith, assurance, & belief out there, that what you expect or believe in, will happen. When you step on a plane for example, you trust that the pilot will fly you to your destination safely. When you send your child to school, you trust that your child will learn in a safe environment. When someone says that they love you, you trust that they're telling you the truth.

Jilted Would-Be Bride Sues Her Ex & Wins

I just finished reading a news story about a woman in Georgia who successfully won a judgment against her former "fiance" because he broke off the engagement. Apparently he committed a breach of promise to marry, & he has to pay her $50,000. When I first read that, I was appalled that a court would hand down such a judgment. But then I read on....

What Are We Teaching Our Sons?

I wrote a post recently about what we are teaching our daughters. Of course I don't want to neglect the topic of what we are teaching our sons. Today more than ever, it is crucial that we show our kids how to survive in this increasingly cut-throat world we live in, as well as to grow up to be the kind of men & women that they are meant to be.

Respect

This is a long post. Brace yourselves.......

Respect was important, as I was growing up. If any of my 5 siblings or I showed disrespect toward my parents, we either got "the look" from my father, the "I'm very disappointed in you" from my mother, a spanking on the bottom (depending upon the degree of disrespect), or we were made to brush our teeth with a bar of soap (reserved for times of extreme sassing, such as the time when I yelled at the top of my lungs that I hated my father's guts, just because he scolded me for being sloppy when I was drying the dishes). Before anyone cries "ABUSE!!", let me just say that I never felt abused as a child. I grew up in a very loving home, by two very wonderful parents. My parents loved me enough to discipline me when I needed it. Back then, parents weren't afraid to discipline their kids, because it was called good parenting. I felt secure & safe because I knew what my boundaries were, & I knew my parents cared enough about me to set them.

A Blessing For Dad

We're sorry to hear the sad news
Of your 70th birthday today.
Our deepest condolences are with you,
And we'll pray for you each new day.

We'll pray that your eyesight won't fail you,
And that arthritis won't set in your bones -
That you won't be afflicted with maladies,
Like ulcers, arthritis and stones!

May your days ahead not get shorter.
May the hair not fall out of your head.
May you live to see your next birthday
Before you fall over dead.

If what we've said is depressing,
Take comfort from the words of your peers:
According to Noah and Methuselah,
"You are young for all of your years!"



© Cari Kissel 1994 *This poem was written for my father's birthday in 1994