Reflections

I've been a bit reflective these days... Lots of changes have happened in my life & in the lives of those I love. It's neither good nor bad. It's just life. We humans are apt to complain a lot. And I mean A LOT!! We get sick & we whine & moan. Sickness is no fun of course, especially if one is seriously ill, but overall, our human tendency is to make sure others know we feel yucky. Someone is rude to us & we pout or get angry. We have a bad day & we need time to decompress & unwind. It's just how humans are. 

Animals on the other hand...can be sick & they hide it well - it's what they have to do to survive in the wild. If someone yells at their dog, the dog has hurt feelings yet still forgives & still loves that person. When a dog has had a bad day, it still hopes & still tries to make the most of  its circumstances. 

Just this morning, my husband threw a toy onto the hardwood floor for our dog Penny to play with. She jumped down off our bed (a big jump for such a little dog) & went sliding onto the floor, legs splayed out & head down, with her chin landing with a thump. She quickly grabbed her toy & jumped back up onto the bed as if it was no big deal. My husband instantly felt bad for her & vowed not to throw the toy from the bed anymore. Penny, realizing my husband wasn't going to throw the toy after all, began licking her little toothpick legs. It was clear that although she acted as if it was no big deal, her legs did take a pounding & were sore. But that's a dog for you -- they just go with the flow. They accept what is & move on. So do other animals.

Photo: Cari Kissel

Photo: Cari Kissel

Our cat Ella, after using her litter box, tears through the home as if she's high on catnip, bumping into furniture as she runs. We hear the thump, but she carries on, seemingly concluding that the bumping into things already took place & there's no use dwelling on any pain associated with it. Nevermind the fact that Ella is 13 years old & isn't as active as she used to be. She doesn't let her aging body stop her from having fun when she can. Animals are cool like that. We humans could learn a lot from their example. 

As I reflect on how animals go through life, I realize that out of all the species of life on this planet, human beings are the ones who possess the greatest control over their circumstances, yet complain the most about the hand they are dealt. I'm sure we all know someone who finds every excuse to be negative. The sun never shines for such people & if it did, they wouldn't notice it because they walk around with a dark cloud over their heads. I'm not speaking of those with mental illness who may have difficulty being positive. I'm talking about those who just have a negative disposition overall. Life isn't always going to be sunny & warm. Outside, the birds still happily chirp & sing, flying with gleeful abandon, even when the nights are cold & the winter rains we get here, shake & toss about their homes far more than the earthquakes we occasionally experience ever do. I'll take an earthquake any day, over being tossed about in a tree branch, & possibly having my home thrown to the ground & destroyed by the wind. 

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In this world, there is much stress & anxiety because people, intelligent & good as we are, also possess an innate ability to be mean, sometimes cruel & even evil. We can't change the world. We can, however, change our little portion of the world for the better. We can approach life with a positive outlook & attitude & we can BE positive, BE good, BE loving & kind & we can stop fretting over the things that don't matter & focus on the things that do. We can stop dwelling on the past & live for the present.

And when we need to learn how to do just that, we can look to the animals around us & let their examples be our guide.

The End

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Be A Little Crazy

Being normal is overrated. What IS normal, anyway? Is it a standard definition of acceptable traits that are within certain parameters? Does venturing outside of those parameters violate normalcy? Who created those parameters in the first place? Who gets to decide if someone is

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abnormal or not? Is being normal like being in a club, where one has to be accepted before being included? Well I say......

Phooey on normalcy! I think it's perfectly fine to be crazy sometimes. Some of the coolest people in history were a little crazy. There's 3 kinds of crazy, 2 of which are acceptable in my opinion, the 3rd of which is not. People have often treated those who have a mental illness or a disability as if they have the plague. It isn't contagious, folks. That kind of crazy can't be helped. We are all still human beings & we all have SOME sort of "stuff" that makes us a bit crazy. As long as we are either keeping our "crazy" under control with therapy, medication or whatever floats our boat, & we aren't hurting anyone, including ourselves, then that's okay. Live & let live!

How about those who are covered in tattoos or dress in ways that garner them lots of attention? If such people are indeed normal, why is it that we still judge them & find them lacking somehow? And before anyone says "but I don't ever do that because I judge someone

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on how they behave, not on how they look", I cry fowl on that one. Don't think you've never judged someone. We ALL have done so at least once. How many of us have judged an old person to be stupid & deaf, as we speak loudly to them in a deliberate & slow manner because we assume they have lost all understanding & hearing & we have to speak to them like a child? We have all judged someone. What about those who are "eccentric" & "odd" & act just outside "societal/acceptable norms"? Hey, as long as nobody is hurting anyone, who cares?! Live & let live!

Then there are those who do all the "normal" things such as going to work, paying their bills & doing what "normal" people do, except their personalities are so off-putting that they come across to others as the opposite of normal. They can be rude, obnoxious, self-entitled, self-absorbed (narcissistic) & act as if the world not only revolves around them, but that the world owes them whatever they want or what they feel they deserve. They don't care if they hurt others, so long as the end result serves their purpose or fulfills their wishes. This kind of "crazy" is unacceptable because it harms others.

There. Those are the 3 kinds of "crazy" as described by moi! So live a little. Don't take life so seriously. We're not going to get out of it alive anyway, so we might as well make it count. Be kind, don't hurt others, be smart in your choices, and HAVE FUN!! And most importantly, be weird, be silly, don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself for the sake of fun now & then. Make that silly sound with your tongue or dance like John Travolta in the grocery store. Rock out to music in the car & laugh when others stare at you as you drive down the road. Just BE A LITTLE CRAZY!! Live & let live...& have fun doing so!!

Photo: Cari Kissel

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Times Have Changed

How I miss my parents. If they were alive today, they would both be in their 90's. They brought about a certain comfort that always made me feel "safe", even as an adult with children of my own. They represented security, balance, family, ethics, goodness, stability & love, all rolled into one package that they created together when they married while still in their teens in the 1940's. My father was drafted during World War II & he & my mom moved from Indiana to California when the Marines sent my dad to San Diego & he was assigned to the USS Panamint & later saw battle in the Pacific Theater. Together, they raised their family: 2 sons & 4 daughters. I was the youngest.

Sweet Maggie's Cloud

My family's Maggie girl died 2 years ago & when she died, a part of my soul died with her...such was our bond. I don't mean this as judgment, but as being sincerely baffled when I say that I have never understood people who view animals not as living beings, but as "just a dog/cat etc". Animals are not here on earth to serve us. Although we can surely have a symbiotic relationship with them where they help us & we help them, they have the right to exist & enjoy the life they were given just as much as we do. Lesser intelligence does not equate to lesser right to life. This isn't a "don't eat meat" post. I respect people's rights to choose their food.

Finding Legos

Yellow ones, red ones, blue and green…

No matter what room I go to, those little blocks are seen.

Tucked underneath the couch, & near our cat’s litter box,

Hiding between the covers & near where my husband throws his socks!

As I crouch down on the floor, retrieving cat toys under the TV,

Pet hair, cords & cat toys & Legos are what I see!

As I tidy up the living room, moving papers here & there,

I find blocks that snap together, spreading colors everywhere.

There are guns to shoot the zombies & rifles 2 feet long.

The builder of these masterpieces, makes them very strong.

Oh the robots & the weapons, made for battles of that day,

Are the evidence of a happy child, who came to see us & to play.

As I pick up all the Legos, that have somehow missed their box,

I’m reminded of a sweet little boy & the way he plays & talks.

“Get the zombies, Grandpa! Run! We have to hide!”

“Oh no, they just got Grandma! Now she’s a zombie & she died!”

There’s an awesome little boy, 4 years old with an infectious grin.

Each time I’m finding Legos, I’m reminded he was here again!

(Dedicated to my awesome, Lego-loving grandson)

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The Good and Not So Good Human Traits

I don't make resolutions when a new year arrives. I instead, set goals for my life & I set such goals throughout the year. In my experiences during the past couple of years, I have encountered people with personality & character traits so ugly that they have brought out the worst of mankind. I have also observed & been exposed to traits so awesome that they help people to forget that ugliness in this world even exists when we can see the goodness in others. I want to strive to exhibit the positive traits below, to the best of my ability. They are shown first on this list. This post isn't pretty or poetic, nor is the layout fancy. Heck, I'm not even going to make the format perfectly consistent & uniform. I don't feel like it. But I do believe the point I'm trying to make can still be made here:

Sisters

She was the 3rd daughter for my parents. They already had one son at that time & I'm quite certain my brother had hoped for a baby brother instead of yet another girl, but that was not to be. I'm hypothesizing here. I haven't actually asked my brother how he felt about having yet another sister in the family, but c'mon...what boy actually looks forward to being outnumbered 3 to 1 by sisters?

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To make matters worse for my poor brother, he had to wait an extra month to find out if he was going to have a little brother or not, because this little baby was born a month late...at least according to legend (every family has them). At last the day arrived & the doctor announced "it's a girl". I can imagine the dismay my brother must have felt on that day, although he likely was used to it by now.

Speaking of Politics....

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I am not a fan of reading political posts & so I'm about to do the very thing I hate to see...but something is getting on my nerves & I just can't remain silent anymore. I am talking about the constant posts on social as well as mainstream media about the upcoming presidential election & the obvious intent to persuade others toward a certain candidate. So with that in mind.....

We Have a Choice

Everything we do is a choice. Unless someone is blackmailing us, using extortion against us, or coercing us by force, we alone are responsible for the choices we make. 

Someone will say "but you don't know what he did to me...he left me no choice!".  Nope, wrong answer. We always have a choice.

"But she knows that I get upset when she does such & such. I had no choice but to show her that she can't get away with that". Again, we always have a choice.

"This person hurt my family member!" --- once again, we have a choice in how we respond.

"Yeah, but that person cut me off in traffic & nearly caused an accident" -- I can relate to this one...& yes, I have the choice in how I will respond.

Maggie and Penny and Ella, oh my!!!

It started out as just a quick trip to the side yard to take Penny out to do her business & then I was going to rush back inside & get started on the many projects I had been putting off. But that was not to be.

Sweet Maggie

Photo: Cari Kissel

It was love at first sight, on that first day we met.
You were now part of our family & not just a pet.
You came with your issues, anxieties & pain,
But with patience & love, you were easy to train.

Photo: Cari Kissel

It didn't take long for others to see
That there was a bond forming between you & me.
I helped you through your "stuff" & you helped me through mine....
And our love grew much deeper with the passage of time.




But time has a way of not playing fair....
For it wanted to take you & I was unwilling to share.
Call me selfish & greedy for not giving you up,
But you were my fur-child, my friend & my pup!

You would have stayed longer, out of love for us all,
But death gave you no choice, when it paid you a call.
That insidious thief snatched you out of our sight,
Though it mercifully took you while you slept in the night.

It left in its wake, such grief & despair,
For our sweet, precious Maggie was no longer there.
You would give no more greetings as we walked through the door....
No more waggy-tailed waddling, no more "gacks" on the floor.

Photo: Cari Kissel

There would be no more begging, with those pitiful eyes,

Nor would we again see the famous "Maggie Capsize".

Photo: Cari Kissel
Maggie "capsized"

We have missed everything about you, especially your smile...
And would travel to see you, no matter the mile.


But Heaven doesn't offer a Visitor's Pass,
And we can't see you rolling in Heavenly meadows of grass.

Photo: Cari Kissel

We can't see the joy written all over your face,
But I know that will change when again we embrace.

Oh Maggie, sweet Maggie, how we wish you were here,
But at times we can sense you & feel you are near.
Though we now have our Penny dog & we do love her too,
There's a Maggie-shaped space in our hearts just for you.

I will love you forever, we all will, you see....
And when my time comes, I hope you'll come to greet me....
For I miss you so much, my sweet Maggie girl
And when you crossed Heaven's rainbow, it shattered my world.

Photo: Cari Kissel

Though life marches on & it softens the pain,
At the end of my journey, I will see you again!!
Until that time comes, I will live as you lived....
Always smiling & loving, & enjoying life like a kid!


So here's to you, my sweet Maggie girl!
To your family, you were THE greatest dog in the world!
What you taught us the most, came from the good Lord above,
For you exemplified His unconditional love!

Photo: Cari Kissel
Image of Maggie in the clouds
Crossed Rainbow Bridge on 3/11/15

© Cari Kissel




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Forgive & Forget

A lot has happened to me on the way to my life. Put simply, my life has had its shares of ups & downs & hasn't always gone the way I had hoped, dreamed or planned. There have been good & bad changes in my life, most of which have helped bring about reflection & soul searching & eventually peace & healing if it is needed. 

Relax Already!!!

Do you ever feel guilty when you sit down & relax in front of the television set? Do you feel like you've wasted your day if on your days off from work, you did not keep yourself occupied with chores & projects around the home? You do?? Well knock it off!! 

Missing Freda

When I think of spiders, the book Charlotte's Web comes to mind. In that book, Charlotte is a spider that lives in a barn & she instructs a pig named Wilbur on life's important lessons. I am not a spider lover, but I do find them interesting. I'm pretty sure that my daughter on the other hand, would prefer that they lived on the moon. I have been summoned many times, to perform spider deportations.

The Un-Presidential Mr. Trump

I REALLY don't like talking politics with anyone but my family but honestly, I know many people who like Trump & I just want to gently pose this question: why would anyone want to vote for any person who is so egotistical & manipulative? There's a reason why studying history is important. We can observe patterns & learn how to prevent negative ones by paying attention to those who have been a part of such patterns throughout history. 

Birds of the Air

As I was walking my dog the other day, I noticed how she delighted in taking in every smell in the air around her & every scent on the ground. As she rolled in the grass, I smiled at the sheer joy my Penny dog was experiencing at that very moment.

The Nimrods of the World

I don't usually post things of a political nature, but this isn't political. It's about survival & national security. So here's the million dollar question:

How is it that a small minority of people in comparison to the world's population, is able to hold the world hostage to fear? How can such a small minority of evil, psychopathic bullies get away with terrorizing the world? There are NATIONS that know better than to mess with the United States or with other powerful nations, yet these evil terrorists have gone on for far too long, with their murderous thirst for blood, dominion & control, causing nations world-wide to alter the way we do things & to restrict our freedoms in the interest of national safety.

Being Nice or Being a Schmuck

I'm a people watcher. I can't help it. I find human behavior fascinating. I also care about people & feel a lot of compassion toward others. When I see someone hurting, I want to help. Often, strangers approach me & start a conversation because they see a friendly face & assume they can trust me. People consider me to be kind & someone they can count on to help out. This is a good thing, right? I'm not so sure. Here's why:

Savor the Moment

Today was an uneventful day. Although as a Christian, church is an important part of my life (albeit not as regular a part for me lately), I did not go to church today. My husband had to work & my daughter was with some friends. Aside from our cat & dog, I had the home to myself. I have a huge TO DO list a mile long, yet I just wasn't "feeling it" today. Plus, I had a whopper of a migraine. Seems I get a lot of those lately, partly due to the frequent air pressure changes that come from living in an arid Pacific coast climate & partly due to the fact that I have huge sleep issues at night. After awhile, lack of sleep takes its toll.

Melody's Song

You came suddenly & then were gone.

As in my dream, you were just "there".

Though I was there for you, you couldn't hold on...

And now in grief, I breathe despair.

You are but just a brief memory

Of a tiny brown-haired little girl;

So frail, yet like a sweet melody,

Your song will play in another World.

You're not a dream - you're very real.

I saw you briefly before you were gone.

From my body, death did steal

My precious, tiny, little one.

I thought my grief would claw my soul

And rip my heart from within my chest;

Yet God's loving mercy has made me whole...

Through another precious child, I'm blessed.

I cherish my children as gifts from the Lord...

His abundant kindness is exceedingly great --

Yet I will remember forever, the child I briefly adored,

And our reunion will be well worth the wait!

Love always, your mother

Feb 27, 2001

( © Cari Kissel....This is dedicated to all those who have lost a child through miscarriage or premature death)

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