Stop Taking Offense Already!!!

We live in a litigious society, where people are bringing about lawsuits, from the most trivial of perceived offenses to the most extreme. Once upon a time, a lawsuit was a last resort measure taken when all other attempts to resolve disputes have failed. Today, one simply has to be offended at something that someone said, & then out come the "victims", sure they have been grievously wronged, & the only way that there can be any measure of recompense, is if the "wronged" party is rewarded for their victim status in either a court of law, or a court of public opinion.

I'm not suggesting that legitimate disputes between individuals or groups should not be settled in a legal manner. Sometimes, that is the most appropriate way to handle certain situations. I am suggesting however, that far too many people complain over such trivial matters, that it is a waste of energy, time, & money. Such waste that is caused by some, affects us all. How many times have we heard about policies or rules being enacted because of the "bad apples" who have ruined things for the rest of us?

Then there's another side to this coin, & that is, where someone errs on the side of caution SO much so, that extreme & ridiculous measures come into play. In the past year alone, I recall stories of kindergartners being suspended for bringing a bubble gun to school because the child wanted to blow bubbles at a classmate, & stories of other kids getting in trouble for merely making a finger gesture of a gun with their thumb & forefinger. I remember when my own son was four years old, & his pre-school's director insisted that he be evaluated by a psychologist, or she would report him to our local school district & he would not be allowed to attend kindergarten. His offense? He loved to draw pictures of volcanoes & lava, & often used the color black. His teacher, who was the school's director, was sure this indicated some sort of psychosis, & she wanted him tested. He was tested by a psychologist, who suggested that perhaps the teacher should be tested for reading into a young boy's imagination, sinister intent where none existed. 

It's understandable that schools will take extreme caution whenever a student exhibits signs that he or she may be capable of committing harm to other students, but when a child's innocent & imaginative play is turned into a perceived terrorist threat, that's when the adults in charge have clearly lost their ability to rationally have any influence in the lives of children in an educational setting.

Another trend in our society today is that of people becoming increasingly offended when public figures & celebrities say something stupid, that rubs someone the wrong way. Racism does in fact exist in our culture today - STILL - & it should always be dealt with in a manner which demonstrates that such attitudes are unacceptable in a civilized society. But when someone makes a derogatory reference to a person's physical appearance, such as hair texture, skin color, weight, or racial heritage, etc., it's time to see such idiocy as simply that: idiocy - nothing more. While it is of course more than simple idiocy in some situations, especially if it crosses the line into hatred directed at targeted individuals, then if we give attention to the hatred being spewed in those instances, it will feed that hatred by bringing greater attention to it.

There is also an insistence prevalent in our society today, that people of various races be referred to as "(insert race/heritage of origin) - American". As an example, I am descended from the Native American tribe of Cherokees. I prefer to say that I am part Indian, rather than saying I am part Native American. Those of us who were born in this country are ALL native Americans, because the term "native" when referring to someone or something, implies having first existed in a particular place. Another example is that of those called "African Americans". Not everyone of that race was descended from those who came from Africa. Some may have ancestors from Jamaica or Haiti. As long as there are no hateful words used to describe a person's race, there is nothing wrong with using skin color or race to describe a person. Not everyone with "American" attached to their heritage of origin, is being accurately described. If we are citizens of the United States of America, then we are ALL Americans!!

We worry about racism, yet rather than showing one another how much alike we really are, we often focus on how we are different. That divides us & perpetuates racism. When someone does something offensive or wrong, & that person happens to be of a different race than our own, whether we are white, black, orange, green or blue, it is often automatically assumed that we only have an issue with that person because of their race, not their actions. Yes it is true that racial profiling does exist, & that is not right - but when we are the ones doing the profiling, then we are the ones in the wrong. Profiling exists in all races, not just particular ones. It needs to stop. We can celebrate our uniqueness as individuals, & can even celebrate our cultural heritage. But to celebrate our race, is actually celebrating racism itself, because it places the focus on our differences, rather than on our similarities. It's time to stop doing that, if we ever hope to break down racial barriers that divide us as a nation. When a person's race is used as a way to show unity & commonality within a group, rather than to merely describe what someone looks like, or is used to divide groups of people with the purpose of segregation, then it can become a collective weight around the necks of Americans today. 

Then there are situations in which someone may make a statement about women, or about someone of a particular race or sexual orientation, where the person being referred to in the statement, is depicted in a subordinate or demeaning manner. In those situations, it is no longer appropriate to scold the offending person & leave it at that. Indeed, unless the offender goes on live TV & makes a public apology for his or her insensitive remarks, & takes a sensitivity training course, then people across the nation will hop aboard the crazy train of insanity in droves, in their quest for extreme political correctness. There's a reason why there are growing numbers of image consultants employed today. Their job is to help restore the damaged reputations or diminished public images of celebrities & public figures. It is each American's Constitutional right to free speech,  however more & more people are being fired for exercising that right because of comments deemed offensive on social networking sites or in the workplace, & people are outraged because of what basically boils down to, someone's feelings becoming hurt at someone else's ugly words. This is political correctness run amok!

Finally, people need to stop being offended at every turn. When I was a child, boys settled their differences with a punch to the nose & then went back to being buddies playing together an hour later. Girls would get their feelings hurt & might sulk for a day or two, but then they would get over it, & go back to being best friends again. Those were the days when parents spanked their kids without being viewed as abusive. When a child misbehaved, that child got in trouble, & learned to alter his or her behavior. There was none of this "let's not hurt the child's feelings" attitude toward discipline. Fact is, discipline is not supposed to be pleasant. It's intended to teach a child to behave differently. Now of course, one should never discipline in an abusive manner or in a way that breaks a child's spirit or causes physical or emotional trauma. But if a child has to forgo privileges, or a planned outing with friends due to bad behavior, then perhaps that child will learn to make better choices in the future. 

As a parent, I have been guilty myself at times, of indulging misbehavior for the sake of not wanting to upset my child. This is a mistake that far too many parents make these days, & we wonder why our kids have no self-discipline, low self-esteem, are bullies, have far too many severe emotional problems or commit violence. We give our children tremendous freedom, when we protect their right to reap the consequences of their actions. That is one of the kindest, most loving things we can do to give them the self-confidence & life skills to make it in this world. It's time for parents to be parents first, & friends second, & for people to put more of an emphasis on what's right, rather than on trying not to hurt or offend others.

If someone calls me a name or makes some sort of racial or gender slur toward me, I could choose to be offended, or I could choose to not waste my time worrying about the ignorant comments of others. Life's too short for that, & I know the truth about who & what I am. I don't want to waste my time allowing my feelings to get hurt, & demanding justice because I didn't like what someone said to me. It's time that we as a society quit demanding apologies when public figures or celebrities or anyone for that matter, say stupid things which insult others. It's a poor reflection on the person who says such things, but it doesn't have to be something we can give attention to. We can lose respect for that person, we can boycott their business, their movies, their albums or their sports games. We can stop buying their product or being their friend. But we don't need to insist on public apologies or take someone to court, or even resort to public shaming via social networking sites, every time someone says something stupid & insulting. We need to get over ourselves & quit being offended at everything people say these days. We need to grow up as people, & start behaving like the great nation of Americans that we know we are capable of being!